oh ya, I have a blog.

It musta slipped my mind.

I mean, what other reason do I have for my extremely lengthy absence?

Well, you can stop crying now because I'm back. But this little bloggy reunion we're having here won't last long because tomorrow I'm hoppin on a plane for Colorado. Please don't start crying again. Seriously. That's not attractive. I mean, it's just a blog. See this as an opportunity to find other exciting blogs to read while I am away. Just make sure to come back around the 12th, because hopefully I'll have some hilarious, awesome, amazing pictures for you to feast your eyes on.

You see, I'm reuniting with my awesome camp buddies Lauren & Kathy, and we take the best pictures in the world. If that wasn't true then I wouldn't have taken 900 pictures while I was at camp. I'll give you a little preview of what the pictures will be like:

Ok, now that we've settled that, I'll get to what this post was originally supposed to be about.

Actually, I really don't know what it was supposed to be about.

I know I was going to mention something about Christmas and how I don't have any pictures to post because my sister was the photog of the festivities and lost her camera until about 5 minutes before she went back to her home in the distant land of Peoria. Meaning I couldn't upload them to the comp. (I'm not blaming, just explaining)

Oh, and I was going to say how I got to spend the whole weekend with the aforementioned sister & her husband and puppies. This meant lots and LOTS of board games and wii playing.

And I'm pretty sure I was going to mention that my mother is AWESOME and did her best to make this Christmas amazing. Seriously, love ya Mom! We were way too spoiled and got to have lots and lots of fun.

I was also gonna say how I missed my biggest sis because she was in Ecuador, and that this was her first Christmas away from home :(. My whole family agreed that it didn't feel completely like Christmas because she wasn't there, but she had the cutest baby in the world with her, so I guess that's a semi-fair trade.

I too was going to post a picture of the Christmas bling that's hanging in my car, but the snowflake broke, so I guess that plan didn't work either.

Anyway, Christmas was a fun time.

Hope you all had an awesome Christmas too!

Or whatever you celebrate.

see you in +/- 13 days.

to do:

Find Zachary Levi and marry him.

(I love you, my sexy sexy beast)

Make my playlist not annoying, and take out the songs with F bombs

(I swear I never knew. I guess I should listen to them all the way before adding them...).

Buy ski gear for COLORADO! (check)
Woo woo! That's right my friends. I will soon be showin off some skills at the slopes. I've never actually done it before, but I know I'll be a natural. (please, how hard can it be?).

(I'm going to look just like that. only, the girl version)

Make Andes mint cookies and give them to people before Christmas is over.

(thanks, Melanie, for introducing me to such deliciousness)

GET NEW WINDSHIELD WIPERS.

(this is what it looks like when I drive)

Clean my room so people don't start mistaking it for the dump.

(yep. that's basically what my room looks like)

Win the lottery.

confessions.

I'm finally going to post that blasted second monster update post I promised.

Not like you guys have been anticipating it or anything, but I want to be a blogger who does what they say they will.
(I'm still planning on posting the designs of my dream house, so that doesn't count. These things take TIME! Geez, don't rush me!)

Here are some things you didn't know about me 5 minutes ago.

I'm the slowest bubbler ever. By bubbler, I mean filler-outer of scantrons. I always triple check the bubbles for my name to make sure I did it right, and even then I still feel like I messed up. I also have to fill in the bubbles completely (no white spaces!) without going out of the lines. I'm usually one of the last ones to turn in my test. It's a sad life.

I'm afraid to get things out of my car at night. When I was younger I watched this TV special about bad guys who would hide under women's cars at night and then grab their ankles when they approached in order to kidnap them. It scarred me for life. If I have to get something then I always stand at least two feet away and reach over. Although, when I think about it, that's really a lame way to kidnap people. If someone was under the car all you'd have to do is step on their hands and run away. It's not like it'd be very easy for them to get out from underneath, and by then you'd be long gone. Anyway, I'll still always be afraid.

I tried out for the play Little Women. It is still my dream to become an actress, so when I saw that some little community theater was holding auditions, I went for it. I was going to tell people that "I changed my mind and decided not to do it because I didn't want to rearrange next semester's schedule and be out of control busy" (which is true), but I really didn't get the call back. I was sad, but whatev. At least I didn't have to give up another Saturday.

I must put www before all websites I visit. For example, the link to my blog isn't ames-world.blogspot.com, it's www.ames-world.blogspot.com. I don't care if it takes longer to type & is "unnecessary". How much longer does it really take to add a couple of w's? The URL is naked without it, and nakedness is unchaste.

I would really like to get married now. I went wedding dress shopping with some friends all day last Saturday, and I would really like to be the one trying on the dresses now. So please, PLEASE, please, PLEASE, if you know of a tall RM who is funny and awesome (and hottt if possible), then send him my way. Tell him I make some seriously delish cookies, or other baked goods if preferred.

That's all. I'm breaking my own rule and not including pictures because I'm just too lazy for that right now. Uploading pictures to blogger is kinda a pain in the boo-tay.

Happy 4 days til Christmas! (wow.)

today.

Guess what I did today?

I will tell you what I did today.

- I woke up at 4:30. AM, not PM, meaning the sun was still far from coming up.

- I walked in soggy, soaking wet shoes all day because as I was running out the door I grabbed a pair that I thought would keep my toes warm, but instead acted as water absorbers. When I walked water squished out of them.

- I walked all across campus with about 100 pounds on my back only to find out that the two books I never even touched all semester are ones that the bookstore won't buy back. (200 bucks down the drain)

- I had to drive to ASU, then to Chandler, then back to ASU, then home to Mesa in the rain with windshield wipers that really don't even work. Oh, and a piece of them flew off while I was driving on the freeway.

- I was bitten by a gerbil.

- I wasn't able to go to the Cheesecake Factory after work (like I had planned on) to get the strawberry shortcake that I've been dreaming about all week because I had to go to a meeting for the pledge committee I'm going to be on.

but...

- I completed my last final of the semester, meaning I'm school free for an entire month.

It truly was a glorious day.

And now I'm devouring this tasty goodness from Mesa FroYo to celebrate.

yummmm.

i don't even know.

I loooooove fruit. With the exception of all melons, I could eat any type of fruit all day. Especially pineapple. Mmmmmm pineapple. Well, One day I decided to hit up the fridge to get a piece of fruit to eat. I opened up the designated fruit drawer, and found this monstrosity: (the thing on the left)

{In case you can't tell, that's an apple. Since we didn't have any normal apples around for me to compare it to, it's sitting next to a pomegranate and a strawberry to give you a point of reference. It was like the size of my head.}

As soon as I picked it up I said, (very loudly) "WHAT THE HECK?? Did this apple eat all of the other apples??"

I was extremely disturbed. As far as I knew cannibal apples didn't exist, but strange things grow in our fridge so I didn't think it was completely unlikely.

However, after further investigation and questioning of my mother, it turns out that it was just some strange type of apple that they sell at the fruit store.

I wish this story had a better and more exciting ending, but it doesn't. That's basically it.

But I was able to turn it into a jack-o-apple. So that makes it exciting, right?? (nod head yes)

And then I took a bite.

So in case you ever wondered, yes, apples can be carved into jack-o-lanterns.

blogging etiquette according to mwah.

Somehow my blog about "amy-ness" turned into one about blogging etiquette, but it's because I decided the blogging world needed it. I hope you take notes.

Blogging Do's

Be nice
No one likes a meanie. If you want to trash talk someone, go to haterz-ville. (aka message boards). They like you there. Actually, go to the edge of a cliff and jump off. Just kidding. That was mean. That was an example of what NOT to do. Anyway, just stay away from blogs. Bloggers are basically online hippies because we just want a little peace and love. No hate over here. But really, you shouldn't be trash talking anywhere because that's just unattractive.


Proofread your work
You wouldn't walk out the door without looking in the mirror first, right? So why hit the publish button before reading over your work? Imagine your blog as your online face. You wouldn't want to find out that you've had food stuck in your teeth all day, jsut lik you wouln't wantto find out you'v espelt evry other word wrongf and and had it published al lday. If proofreading isn't your forte, I'd be happy to do it for you. Mistakes are going to be missed, so 5 errors are permissable per post.


Make things exciting
No one wants to read a boring blog. If you're not very funny (aka me) then post about funny things you saw that day. If funny things never seem to happen, then just make stuff up. Haha oh man, so this one time I was walking to class at ASU and there was this guy in front of me who was trying to put the moves on the girl he was talking to. He was laying on the charm and almost ready to get the digits, when suddenly a GIANT bomb of fresh white pigeon poo landed smack dab on his head. (totally not true). See how I did that? Try it.



Blogging Do Not's

Posts without pictures
I've been guilty of this a few times, but come on people, it's just not aesthetically pleasing to have a giant block of text with nothing to appease the poor readers eyes! They're doing you a favor by reading your blog, so thank them by adding pictures to look at. Preferrably of something funny and exciting. You don't need a picture every time, but just enough to shake things up. And if you don't have pictures of your own, that's what Google images is for.


Lack of punctuation
I don't expect perfection but at least throw in a period or comma every now and then because it just takes too much work to read a paragraph without any punctuation and let's face it life is hard enough without having to decipher the post you are reading this is much more common than you'd think it really is quite annoying too. Wow. That was painful to write. I hope you see my point.


Not commenting
I'm pretty sure that if someone has a blog, then they want comments. They wouldn't spend countless hours trying to come up with exciting things to post about or slave away trying to make the cutest layout so that no one will read their blog. And if you don't comment then they won't know you read, and if they don't know you read then they'll think no one reads, and maybe one day they will stop blogging forever. Do you really want to be the cause of that?? Leave a comment, save a blog.
(seriously. that means you)


I hope this helps some of you.

(please don't take me seriously. I like to use extreme examples and sarcasm so if you're guilty of a few of these, don't worry, I'll still love your blog. I'm easy.) (But I am serious about the commenting. Do it)

piece o' cake.

If only you knew how happy this lopsided, funny-lookin cake makes me.



Once upon a time I decided that I was in love with cake decorating. I always had that love somewhere deep inside my heart, but it wasn't until then that I decided I actually wanted to try it. I looked up techniques, designs, tips, and I even spent several hours watching Ace of Cakes. My heart became happy and I was very excited.

Then along came a nasty, evil villain called Mr. Meanie Doubterfectionist. His goal was to destroy my hopes and dreams by tricking me into thinking I would never be as good as I wanted to. He made me believe that I had to be perfect the first time I tried, and that I would have to be popping out elegant and elaborate wedding cakes right away or else I was a failure. I decided to give up without even trying, and Mr. Meanie Doubterfectionist was happy. It seemed his plan had worked.

But suddenly something marvelous happened. Mrs. Motivated Risktaker came along and smacked me for listening to Mr. Meanie. She told me to get over it and live my dream anyway, so I did, and created this:

It wasn't perfect. The cake was crumbly, the shape was lumpy, the fondant wasn't smooth, the design was weird, and it probably didn't even taste good. Not to mention I made a HUGE mess. But I started living my dream and that's all that matters. And I will soon live happily with many beautiful (and some not-so-beautiful) cakes forever and ever.

Then I tried being all cutesy by experimenting with my photography skills.

It's a good thing I chose cake decorating rather than photography.

(I need a new apron. Can you tell?)

the end.
(or should I say beginning?...)

My next project will look something like this:

....hopefully. :)

I found this thing called "Elf Yourself..."

Now I can't stop laughing.

Except I DIDN'T find this thing called Elf Yourself. And I can stop laughing.
My sister hijacked my blog without me knowing. I know, how dare her!
I gave her a good whooping though.
And I guess it's KINDA funny....so I'll leave it up.
I think the most awkward part is when I'm booty poppin with my mom.
Watch if you dare.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards