INSANE.

Remember how my birthday is in one week?!

This is insanity. INSANITY.
I'm pretty sure I turned twenty like a week ago.
And if I turned twenty on my last birthday, then you do the math on how old I'm going to be.

I'll give you some time to calculate it.
.
.
.
Yep. 21 big ones.
& I guess turning 21 is a pretty big deal in the U.S., so to commemorate the occasion I'm going to get totally wasted, black out, and then wake up next to a strange, fugly looking person.
It's gonna be a blast.

OR, if that doesn't pan out, I'm just gonna go to Stratum laser tag & Speedway go kart racing, and then maybe the Tempe Improv with my sister.
I know, not nearly as fun.
& I'm gonna be real, I know those who read my blog probably wouldn't want to hang out with me in the non-interweb world, but if you want to join me in the festivities & live in the Mesa-Tempe-Gilbert-Chandler-Phoenix-Scottsdale area, then you're invited!! Forillos. Or if you're from somewhere else you can totally fly out too.
It'll be on Sat. Feb. 7th.
Hit me up at aljorgen@asu.edu if you're down.



So, ya. That's the hiz-naps around here.
Ok bye.
(Remember when I used end my posts with adios?? I wonder what happened to that)


p.s. what's up with the ZERO comments on my last post? Geez. I do you all favor and this is how you thank me. I'm hurt.

sneak preview.

Out of the goodness of my heart, I've decided to give you guys a sneak preview of my Colorado Adventures. The reason that it's just a sneak preview is because I don't want you to go into shock when you do see all of the wonderfulness I'm going to post. I'm starting you off slowly. And because I still don't have most of the pictures. SO, some of the things I did are:

I got to see these dudes:

I played in a little bit of snow:

I practiced my jumps a little bit:

And I made the workout video of all workout videos. This is a short clip of the unedited version:

Stay tuned for more later.

On a sidenote, I have a few more things I need to say:

1. Ligers are real.

2. The UK isn't the only place where people drive on the left side of the road.

(So many people have told me that they are! UGH)

BOO ya.

I wish the people who have told me I was wrong could read this.

hilariousness in a bottle.

Watch this. It's the most hilarious thing I've seen in '09.

I'm literally crying right now.
If you want to see more (because if you can stop at just one then there's something wrong with you) then go to YouTube and type in Stupid Game Show Answers.

the snuggie.

I have a feeling the marketing strategy for the Snuggie went something like this:

Mr. Infomercial Marketing President Dude: "Ok guys, we've got our next product. It's like a bathrobe backwards, but not! Ingenious! Now we need to figure out a way to make our consumers want it. To need it. I mean, people obviously don't want to look like monks or sith lords on a daily basis, so we need to trick them. Any ideas?"

Chump #1: "Hey, I know. Let's give it a ridiculous name so we can throw them off. With a name like The Cuddler, or The Snuggie, people won't even think of monks or sith lords."

Mr. IMPD: "Nice! 'The Snuggie'. I like it. Now how do we market it?"

Chump #2: "I've got the perfect plan. Instead of sticking to the older demographic like usual, we can shake things up a bit! We'll show old people! Young people! Children! People eating! People with pets! People roasting mallows! Heck, we'll even show people at a football game! It'll be wondrous. People will never suspect."

Mr. IMPD: "I like where you're headed with this! Should we stick to the usual 2 am playing time?"

Chump #1: "Why not shake that up as well!? Let's play it on EVERY channel during EVERY show, so that eventually people start to become so annoyed with it that they buy it out of spite! By then the whole world will know about it, so those who do get it will appear to be 'cool', and everyone else will start to do the same! Soon, the whole world will be snuggified and our brilliant plan will have worked. We will then sit back and laugh evilly with our gold-plated toilets and diamond-crusted swimming pools. Muahahaha, muahahahahaha."

Mr. IMPD: "Sounds good. Let's do it."

----------------------------------------------------

I plan on ordering mine tonight.

explantation and insights.

I took 160 videos in Colorado. Yep. 160. Some of them are only 10 seconds long, but some of them are 10 minutes long. That means it's gonna take me about....52 days for me to edit it into one awesome video for you to behold. But it will happen, and I will post it here, and you will see many of the amazing things I did on the best vacation EVER. Also, since I was in charge of the videoing, Lauren has most of the pictures and is holding them hostage until I send her the videos. Too much info, I know, but the moral of the story is that you won't get to know what happened on that delightful trip for quite some time.

So until then, I'm going to fill your head with lots of insights about mwah. No pictures. Sorry.

1. I have too many dreams. You might think it's impossible for a person to have too many dreams, but I'm here to prove you wrong. I have no focus. Let me tell you everything I want to be:

• professional cake decorator
• professional snowboarder
• professional dancer
• actress
• wedding planner
• interior designer
• photographer
• director/filmmaker
• owner of a zoo
• dog trainer
• polar bear trainer
• professional athlete
• song writer
• professional scrapbooker
• professional ice skater
  

Oh, and not only do I want to do all of this, but I want to be the BEST at all of it. And I just so happen to suck at every one of those things.

2. I used to want a famous blog. I didn't admit this to myself, but oh man did I want it. I wanted to have the best/funniest/most touching/most creative/awesomest posts ever. This stressed me out and I didn't even want to post anymore. Now I love my little blog & I'm happy not very many people read it. It makes those that do read it even more special!

3. I'm a hardcore, double time perfectionist. I don't forgive myself for the mistakes I make, and it's kinda annoying. I once had a panic attack at work and started bawling because my bosses got mad at me for letting someone forge their check. I feel like I have to be the best at everything I do, which in turn pretty much makes me the worst at everything since I'm always second guessing myself. My sophomore year I saw that I was ranked #12 in my class out of 800, and I was disappointed. 11 people were better than me.

4. I want to travel to every single state and all 7 continents. I LOVE seeing new places. I just wish it was about 90% cheaper to do so.

5. I LOOOOOOOOVE animals. I would have to say my least favorite animal is a cat, and I still want to cuddle them and give them lots of lovin. I really hope that in heaven all animals are sweet and cuddly, because polar bears, lions, tigers, gorillas, meerkats, and penguins are my faaaaavorite.

6. I don't understand myself at all. I really am a walking contradiction. I want to be popular but I hate the spotlight. I hate when things aren't organized but I have the messiest room on the planet. I have a 4.0 but I know nothing about business (which is my major). I could go on. It's frustrating.

7. I'm lonely. I have been for awhile, and it makes life harder than it should be.

8. It seriously makes me cry when I see other people in pain. One time I was driving and saw this little old man walking home in the rain with his work uniform on, and tears started to come. I decided that when I can afford it I'm going to give little old men like that cars to drive so they don't have to walk home in the rain. I also can't stand to see people made fun of. It hurts me, even if the person isn't around to hear it.

9. These are things that I don't tell people, and as soon as I post this I'm going to feel stupid.

10. I've decided that farting should be called burping with your butt. It just makes more sense.

That is all.

i'm home.

As you can see, it's not an "I'm home!!!!!"

It's just an "i'm home."

I'm not very happy about it.

Before I left I was content with 70 degree winters and only having friendly friends instead of best friends. But then I got a taste of the good life & I want it back.

I already feel lonely. As soon as I got home I just started crying because I don't have anyone here that's even close to Lauren or Kathy.

So since I can't be with them most of the time, does anyone want to be my best friend?

I really need one.

Aw, & I can't even post pictures or videos because the USB cord got smushed & won't fit into the computer. Life is mean.