I consider myself a pretty hardcore gangster. I mean, gangsta.
I know what you're thinking.
"Amy? Gangsta? Please."
Well, let me give you 9 reasons why I'm more gangsta than you. (because gangsta's don't need even numbered lists).
1. I'm wearing gangsta glasses in my profile picture. Blue ones. Blue is like, 90% more gangsta than pink ones, which I totally could've been wearing. Are YOU wearing gangsta glasses in your profile picture? I think not.
2. I hang out in the 'hoods of Boston & New York with fellow gangstas and throw up gang signs. The following gang sign says "I'm the baddest gangsta up in here, sucka foo's!"
(I'm trying to lay low in the one above)
3. I totally know how to throw down the beats.
(while this video completely proves that I am gangsta, it also shows my inability to look decent while recording myself. & for that, I apologize)
(while this video completely proves that I am gangsta, it also shows my inability to look decent while recording myself. & for that, I apologize)
4. I get into creepy black vans to buy fake designer purses. In the 'hoods of New York. But because I am gangsta, I was not afraid that the van was going to drive off with me inside at any minute. I especially was not afraid when an asian man ran up and pounded on the side, warning the guys inside of danger. & since I did it all for a purse, I guess that makes me gangsta chic.
5. I wear superb reading glasses while playing delightful...wait a second. How did this get on here?? Ingore this. Moving on.
6. Does this even need an explanation?? If it does, then you are so not gangsta.
7. I take pictures in front of graffiti that SAYS gangsta. You can't get anymore gangsta than that. Fer rills.
8. I've got mad fighting skillz. Gladiator like, in fact. You should all hope that you don't meet me in a dark alley anytime soon.
9. I've ridden on a packed subway. The kind where you get to know the person next to you more than is allowed by the law of chastity. But because I am gangsta, it is ok. That's how we do.
Now, since you all know that I am more gangsta than you, I will admit that there is one thing that is lacking. My slang.
I may be proficient in "mad" "hood" "throw down" & "fo shizzle", but that's basically the extent of my knowledge. Which is why I need to get my hands on these:
According to the box, I will soon be able to say things like, "Even these faded beats won't salt my game." However, both versions 1 and 2 of the cards are out of stock. Could one of you be a doll and bribe someone for them? Thanks so much. I hope getting them by tomorrow isn't too much to ask.
Speaking of tomorrow, in a few short hours I will be turning into an old woman. I might as well just buy a cane now. I will never be young again. (but at least I'll be gangsta forever.)
